“I wanted a wedding that felt intimate—not just for tradition’s sake, but for our hearts.”
Why I Chose a Traditional Nepali Wedding in a Modern World?
In today’s world, weddings are becoming grander, trendier, and sometimes overwhelming. While I love how weddings evolve with time, I also deeply value my roots. So when it came time to celebrate my own wedding, I chose to keep it minimalist yet traditional — inspired by how weddings used to be in Nepal.
This blog is not a manual on how to get married. It’s simply the story of how I celebrated my traditional Nepali wedding, embracing culture, simplifying the process, and letting go of social pressure — while honoring the rituals that have always meant something to me.
🪔 Planning a Wedding Across Cultures
🗓️ Choosing the Date
Traditionally in Nepali weddings, families consult with a pandit to match birth charts and select an auspicious date. Since my husband is not Nepali, we focused on the date alone. Our families agreed, and a pandit in Nepal chose a date that aligned with our stars — and calendars.
🏡 Keeping It Intimate
In Nepal, large weddings are often the norm — invitations going out to everyone from distant relatives to acquaintances, sometimes for social status. We did things differently.
We decided to do our own wedding, funded mostly by ourselves with love and support from close family. As we live in France, planning happened mostly online, with the help of my brother and cousins back in Nepal. We invited only close family and friends and printed just a few invitation cards as souvenirs.
👗 Outfits & Wedding Feel
I wore a traditional saree, and we asked everyone — men and women — to wear Daura Suruwal and sarees. Our families loved the idea, and most happily joined in. We also chose to have Panche Baaja (a traditional Nepali wedding band) instead of a DJ. Local musicians made the event even more special.
Our venue was booked to avoid the logistical hassle, as even a small family gathering in Nepal can easily turn into a big event!
🌿 Walking Through the Pre-Wedding Rituals We Performed
In Nepali culture, weddings are more than just a one-day event — they are layered with rituals that hold symbolic meaning and emotional weight. Although we live abroad, we wanted to honor some of these traditional steps in a way that felt personal and respectful, not just obligatory.
Each ritual we performed was chosen with intention. Here’s a walk through the ones we embraced — not because they were expected, but because they meant something to us.
🪔 1. Graha Shanti Puja: A Blessing from My Grandparents
We performed a Griha Shanti puja a day before the wedding. Though my parents were present, we asked my grandparents to lead the ritual, as my grandfather still performs family kulpuja. This was my way of honoring them.
My grandmother’s words stayed with me:
“We can’t give you all the wealth of the world, but this is our way of honoring the place you held for us.”
It was a small ceremony, held in a temple, attended only by close family.
🌿 2. A Small Mehendi Evening — My Way
Henna isn’t traditionally part of a Nepali wedding — it comes from Indian traditions and Bollywood influence. Still, I love it and wanted to wear it. Instead of a big function, I had a simple henna evening at a local café, with close friends and a henna artist.
We didn’t do a full-day photo shoot or pre-wedding photography. A friend with a camera captured memories for us — simple and sweet.
🪄 3. A Formal Invitation to the Groom – Honoring the Swayambar Tradition
Another important pre-wedding ritual we honored was the formal invitation from the bride’s father to the groom. Traditionally in Nepali weddings, before the actual ceremony takes place, the bride’s family invites the groom and his family for the Swayambar — the wedding ritual where the bride and groom officially accept each other.
My father presented this invitation to my husband a day before the wedding, not just with words, but through a beautifully crafted wooden frame designed especially for this purpose. The frame wasn’t just a decorative object — it carried cultural weight and personal meaning. For my husband, who is not Nepali, it became a powerful representation of Nepal’s warmth, tradition, and symbolism.
The frame is now one of our favorite keepsakes from the wedding. It reminds us of Kathmandu, the city where our worlds came together. And interestingly, even the word Kathmandu holds a symbolic meaning:
“Kastha” (wood) + “Mandap” (pavilion/structure) — literally meaning a wooden temple or pavilion, a place where sacred gatherings take place.
That moment — my father handing over the frame, my husband accepting it with reverence — felt quiet and profound. It was one of those rituals that doesn’t need many words, because the gesture itself speaks everything: You are welcome here. You are becoming one of us.
💫 The Wedding Day
🌅 1. Waking Up for the Big Day — Getting Ready
The wedding day began early for me — I woke up at 3 a.m. to begin getting ready for what would be one of the most meaningful days of my life. I had already booked a makeup and hair artist, not just for myself, but also for my close friends who had traveled from abroad to attend our wedding. We got ready together, dressed in our sarees, and shared the quiet excitement of the morning. There was laughter, some nervous energy, and a lot of love in that small room as we prepared ourselves.
On the other side, my husband was getting ready too. He wore a traditional daura suruwal, which we had carefully chosen months before. Though he isn’t Nepali, he embraced the culture beautifully. With the help of friends and a bit of online guidance (thank you, video calls!), he got dressed with care and looked every bit the part of a groom in a traditional Nepali wedding. It meant a lot to both our families to see him respect and participate in these customs with such sincerity.
🔔 2. The Wedding Morning – A Quiet Start with Family
Since our wedding was held primarily on the bride’s side, the day began quietly and meaningfully before the groom and his family arrived. I reached the wedding venue early in the morning, accompanied by my father and grandfather, to perform a puja with our Pandit ji.
This wasn’t part of the formal ceremony yet — it was more of a spiritual preparation, a family offering of blessings, and a peaceful way to start such a big day. My grandfather, who performs our kulpuja and many traditional rites at home, took his place beside me with quiet grace. Having both him and my father lead me through this part of the day felt deeply personal — like a handing over of generations, anchored in prayer.
There were no crowds, no cameras, just a handful of close family quietly gathered around us. This moment set the tone for everything that followed: centered, grounded, and deeply intentional.
Only after this quiet morning ritual did we prepare to welcome the janti, as tradition calls for.
🎉 3. The Groom’s Arrival – Janti with Panche Baaja
Later in the morning, the rhythm of Panche Baaja echoed down the road — joyful, unmistakably Nepali, and full of life. My husband arrived at the wedding venue accompanied by his parents and a small group of our close friends, forming the janti — the traditional groom’s procession.
We had intentionally kept it intimate, but the presence of live musicians playing the Panche Baaja added a festive and deeply cultural touch to the moment. It was a reminder that even in simplicity, tradition carries so much spirit.
We chose to have a traditional Panche Baaja instead of a DJ. These five traditional Nepali instruments bring deep cultural rhythm to our wedding. You can learn more about Panche Baaja here on Wikipedia.
Since my husband isn’t from Nepal, many of the rituals were unfamiliar to his family — but this didn’t create distance. In fact, it brought people closer. A few of my friends kindly stepped in to help explain the rituals, guide his parents through the welcoming ceremony, and ensure they felt included in every part of the day.
As the janti arrived, my family greeted them with tika, garlands, and a warm aarti — just as tradition asks. There was no extravagance, but there was so much heart in every gesture. It felt like a real meeting of two worlds — respectful, joyful, and full of quiet understanding.
🎁 4. Saipatta – Honoring the Bride’s Family
Before the actual wedding rituals began, my husband’s family observed the tradition of Saipatta — bringing offerings to my family as a gesture of goodwill, respect, and unity.
They brought fruits, sweets, dry fruits, nuts, and other symbolic gifts carefully wrapped and beautifully arranged. Though we kept our wedding intimate, it was still important for us to carry forward these small yet meaningful customs that define the warmth of a traditional Nepali wedding.
My family received the gifts with love, and it felt like a quiet but significant exchange — not transactional, but relational. It reminded us that marriage in our culture is not just between two people, but between two families.
This ritual, while short and subtle, created a bridge between both sides — laying the foundation for mutual respect and shared celebration.
💍 5. Swayambar – A Sacred Meeting of Two Paths
Our Swayambar ceremony took place indoors on a small decorated stage, simple yet beautiful — the perfect setting for this intimate and meaningful moment.
Traditionally, Swayambar means “self-choice,” a practice where a woman would choose her husband after careful inspection and consideration. Of course, in modern times, I wasn’t choosing from many suitors, but the spirit of the tradition — of mutual acceptance and respect — remained central to our ceremony.
My cousins accompanied me throughout, helping with my saree and guiding me through each step. Their presence made the experience feel deeply personal and loving.
Carrying the kalash, a sacred vessel filled with holy water, I walked around my husband — a symbolic act meant to bless and purify our union. This ritual is a powerful reminder of the spiritual foundation of marriage.
Following this, we exchanged the Dubo ko Mala, a garland made from sacred Bermuda grass symbolizing longevity, resilience, and prosperity — values we wished to bring into our marriage.
After that, we exchanged flower garlands, adding color and fragrance to the ceremony, and we also exchanged rings as a modern symbol of our commitment alongside traditional rituals.
It was a moment filled with love, history, and hope — a beautiful blending of past and present.
👞 6. Jutta Lukaune – The Playful Shoe-Stealing Ceremony
Before my husband stepped onto the decorated mandap where the wedding ceremony would take place, he was accompanied by my father — a symbolic gesture welcoming him into our family.
The lokante, my husband’s close friend who accompanied him, tried hard to protect the shoes during one of the most entertaining parts of a Nepali wedding: the Jutta Lukaune ceremony, or the shoe-stealing game. This ritual holds a special place for my cousins, who eagerly took on the role of “shoe thieves.”
The playful fight for the shoes was fierce and full of laughter — so much so that even the priest got involved, caught up in the excitement and helping in the chase! In the end, they split the difference — each ending up with one shoe.
This lighthearted moment broke any tension and brought joy and laughter to everyone present. It’s these small traditions that create lasting memories and bring family and friends closer.
“Even the priest couldn’t resist joining in the chase!”
🦶 7. Khutta Dhune – Washing the Bride and Groom’s Feet, a Gesture of Respect
After the playful Jutta Lukaune ceremony, we moved to a more solemn and meaningful ritual — Khutta Dhune, the washing of both the bride’s and groom’s feet.
This ritual is performed by the bride’s family as a symbol of respect, humility, and welcoming the couple into their home and hearts. My family took great care in performing this, with my grandparents leading the ceremony alongside the priest.
Though it was a simple act of washing our feet with water and offering blessings, it carried deep emotional significance — especially for my family. For them, this ritual marks the giving away of their daughter, an important and heartfelt moment in our tradition.
For me, witnessing this moment was powerful. It reaffirmed how marriage is not just a union of two people but a joining of families built on mutual respect and love.
🙏 8. Kanyadaan – The Sacred Giving Away of the Bride
This ritual was one of the most emotional parts of our wedding day. In tradition, Kanyadaan means the bride’s family entrusts her to the groom. While it’s usually performed by the parents or grandparents, in my case, my entire family stood with me — symbolically and literally.
Everyone except my younger female cousins fasted the whole day to take part in this sacred moment. In Nepali culture, our brothers are considered part of our “Maiti” (birth home) after parents — and that belief came to life here.
What truly moved me was how all my cousins stood up like brothers, reminding me that they too are my home.
The ceremony was performed by placing the hands of all my family members over mine and my husband’s, and pouring water from a kalash from above — a symbolic offering of love, blessings, and trust.
It was quiet, intimate, and deeply grounding — a reminder of where I come from, and of the people who made me who I am.
🔥 9. Saptapadi – The Seven Sacred Pheras Around the Fire
After the Kanyadaan, we moved into the heart of the wedding ceremony — the Saptapadi, also known as the Saat Phera or Sat Janma ritual.
In a softly decorated space that served as our mandap, with close family gathered around us, we circled the sacred fire seven times, each round symbolizing a vow — of nourishment, strength, prosperity, family, health, trust, and companionship.
The priest guided us through each step, chanting mantras while we took our vows silently, holding hands. These weren’t just ceremonial steps for us; they felt like promises we were making with full awareness — simple but powerful intentions for our life together.
The fire in the center, lit with ghee and herbs, felt warm and ancient — a timeless witness to this commitment. Even in this minimalist and traditional setting, the meaning was immense. We weren’t surrounded by extravagant props, but by love, intention, and family.
With each circle, the reality of our marriage became more real — grounded in tradition, shaped by choice, and blessed by those who stood beside us.
💍 10. Sindoor Daan, Potey, Mangalsutra, and Lagan Gatho – Sealing the Sacred Union
After completing the Saptapadi, we moved into the final and most defining rituals of our wedding: Sindoor Daan, Potey, Mangalsutra, and Lagan Gatho.
As per tradition, once my husband began to perform the Sindoor Daan — applying vermillion powder along the parting of my hair — the indoor space was respectfully covered. This is a private and sacred moment, and in traditional Nepali culture, father figures and brothers are not meant to witness it. That boundary was naturally understood and respected, adding a layer of quiet reverence to the ritual.
I was then adorned with the Potey, the green beaded necklace that symbolizes marriage in Nepali Hindu tradition. While it’s deeply meaningful, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to wear it every day while living in France.
That’s why I chose to also include the Mangalsutra. While it’s originally part of Indian culture, it is also commonly worn by many married women in Nepal, especially in urban and multicultural settings. For me, it was a practical yet symbolic addition — something elegant and simple that I could wear daily, quietly carrying a reminder of this beautiful day with me.
Finally, the priest tied the Lagan Gatho, the sacred thread that binds the bride and groom together spiritually. It was quiet, solemn, and powerful — a moment of stillness that sealed everything we had promised that day.
These rituals — sacred and personal — were not just acts of tradition. They were conscious choices that honored my roots, while embracing the life I live now.
11. Samdhi & Samdhini Bhet — Two Families, One Bond
Before we moved on to the final ceremonies of the day, we took a quiet moment to honor one of the most meaningful parts of a traditional Nepali wedding — the Samdhi Bhet and Samdhini Bhet.
In this tradition, the father figures (Samdhi) and mother figures (Samdhini) from both sides meet — often for the first time in such a sacred context — to acknowledge the union of the two families. Though it’s a symbolic gesture, it carries a deep emotional and cultural meaning: it is the official bond between the families of the bride and groom.
Despite the differences in our backgrounds, this part felt very natural and heartfelt. My husband’s parents, though not Nepali, understood the warmth and value behind the ritual. Simple gifts were exchanged — nothing extravagant — but there was a sense of shared joy and mutual respect in the room.
This was one of the last steps before the dinner and Bidai, and it added a beautiful sense of closure to the day’s rituals. It was a reminder that this wasn’t just about two people getting married, but about two families coming together.
🎉 12. One-Day Celebration – A Simple, Joyful Gathering
Unlike many multi-day Nepali weddings, we chose to celebrate everything in one single day. It was intentional, meaningful, and manageable — blending all the sacred rituals with the joy of simply being together.
After completing all the traditional rituals — from Saptapadi to Sindoor Daan — we moved into the final part of the day: sharing food, laughter, and music with our loved ones.
“We danced, ate, laughed—it was celebration, not performance. Just love, culture, and joy.”
We all sat down for dinner together, enjoying delicious Nepali food surrounded by the warmth of close friends and family. There wasn’t a formal reception program or a DJ, but there was plenty of music, traditional tunes, and joyful dancing.
We danced with everyone — cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, and friends — and the room was filled with laughter and lightness.
It felt exactly how we hoped it would: personal, joyful, and truly rooted in our culture. A wedding that honored where we come from, but also reflected who we are today.
👋 13. Bidaai – A Quiet, Emotional Goodbye
As the evening came to a close, we moved into the final ritual of the day — the Bidaai.
In traditional Nepali weddings, this is the moment when the bride formally leaves her maiti (maternal home) to begin a new chapter with her husband’s family. Though the setting was simple, the emotions were anything but.
What made this moment especially moving for me was the presence of my cousins, who stepped into the role of brothers — walking beside me, supporting me, and performing the rituals just as lovingly and seriously as any sibling would.
In Nepali culture, brothers play a key role during Bidaai, and though I don’t have a brother in the traditional sense, my cousins made me feel that I have many. Their involvement reminded me once again of the strong, supportive home I come from — the maiti that raised me and continues to hold me with so much love.
I’ve been living away from my family for many years now, but still — performing the Bidaai touched something deep in me. It was a gentle nudge to my roots, a reconnection to where I came from, and a way to invite my husband into my world, my culture, and the emotions that can’t always be explained — only felt.
Post wedding rituals
🏠 Griha Pravesh – Welcoming New Beginnings in Our Own Way
Traditionally, Griha Pravesh is a deeply meaningful ritual where the bride is formally welcomed into her husband’s home — a symbol of new beginnings and the start of married life.
Since my husband’s family is not Nepali, and Nepal is not their home, the full cultural meaning of Griha Pravesh was naturally difficult for them to fully grasp. They don’t have the same customs or expectations around welcoming a daughter-in-law in the traditional Nepali way.
Still, to honor the essence of the ritual and mark the occasion, we held a small gathering after the wedding. It was a simple, heartfelt event where we exchanged some gifts and shared stories — similar in spirit to the Mukh Herne ceremony usually performed at the groom’s home.
This intimate moment was our way of blending traditions — respecting Nepali customs while adapting them to our lives, our families, and the beautiful merging of two cultures.
👰🏻♀️ Behuli Farkaune – Returning Home as a Married Couple
The Behuli Farkaune ceremony traditionally marks the first time a bride returns to her parental home after marriage. For us, this was a special day — a beautiful reunion that brought together family, culture, and heartfelt emotions.
My husband and I traveled back to see my family, where we were warmly welcomed. According to tradition, we met with everyone, shared a lovely lunch, and were gifted thoughtfully by our loved ones.
One important part of the ceremony involves buying a new set of clothes — not just for the bride, but also for the son-in-law. This is a meaningful way for the family to welcome both of us back home, symbolizing the unity between the two families and honoring the groom as part of the family.
This ceremony was a tender reminder of the deep bonds that continue even after marriage, and the respect and love that ties both families together.
📽️ A Glimpse into Our Wedding Day
If you’d like to see the highlights from our wedding day, here’s a video we created to capture the joy, rituals, and moments we’ll cherish forever.
A close friend of ours created the wedding moments beautifully — thank you to Nischal Lama(dear Bhai) for preserving this day in such a heartfelt and memorable way.
🎥 Video by: Nischal Lama
Instagram: @nischal_lama
🌿 Closing Thoughts: 🌸 A Simple, Meaningful Wedding — In Our Own Way
This was how I chose to celebrate my wedding — simple yet meaningful, deeply rooted in Nepali traditions, but also shaped by personal choices that reflected who we are.
We decided to keep it intimate, to ditch the modern extravagance and unnecessary expectations that have built up around weddings over the years — from week-long celebrations and endless outfit changes to flashy photoshoots and social status invites. We even skipped the cultural pressure to exchange gold and expensive gifts.
Instead, we held on to what mattered: family, culture, and sincerity.
Every ritual we performed — from the temple puja to the dubo ko mala, from the Kanyadaan to the laughter over missing shoes — was filled with heart.
We may live far from home, but Nepal lives in us — and this wedding was our way of honoring that.
📸 If you’d like to see more of the special moments from our big day, visit my next post:
👉 “Postcards from My Wedding” — where I’ll share photos and short stories from this unforgettable journey.
Thank you for walking this path with me.